Hey, sweeties!
Let's start this blog post with a quote from one of my
favourite bands Paramore: "It's
just a spark but it's enough to keep me going." while I finish my
strawberry milkshake haha
At the moment I am having a bit of a down and I am trying to get all my motivation back. So I decided that this is the right moment to write up my weight loss story so far, because when I think through all of it, my whole story, maybe I find the motivation again. The spark of it is definitely still glowing, I just need to ignite the fire again.
Let's head back to my youth or the time from being a baby until I got around 12. I was really overweight, always have been. On my baby photos I look like a monster, like Bib from Michelin.
Well, I never knew what healthy food or anything was, so I ate whatever my mum was making and she made sausages and oily stuff like that a lot and there were sweets and chocolate at home all the time, so that didn't really help. On the other hand I was always really sporty, well I kinda loved being in the nature and taking super long walks (up to 3-4 hours) or went jogging. And my mums boyfriend pressured me into loosing weight as soon as I got 14. I really had an eating disorder back then, I lost a lot of weight in a real short amount of time, but it was never enough for me. I was disgusted by food and skipped too many meals.
I changed schools when I got 15 and then I started eating normal again, like I restored my weight and my hip bones stopped poking out.
The next four years I was in nursing school and it was psychically and physically the hardest thing I have ever done!! It was so much pressure, because I am a perfectionist. I wanted to be perfect and have the best grades, I put so much pressure on myself to get the best grades and be better and more loved than anyone else. And everyone needs some stress relief, mine was food. And it took me too long to see that. I just realized some time ago that I am a nervous eater and I always eat when I feel stressed eventough I am not hungry. Which brought me to the situation that after those 4 years in school I had all together put on exactly 30kg/ 60lbs.
I knew that I was overweight, but I really thought it wasn't that bad. I thought that restricting over the daytime and stuffing my face with food at night was the answer to everything. I had no idea how bad I treated my body. I was kicking my health with my feet. My mind knew that I was wrong and that I was terribly ill, I started hating myself with a passion.
After graduation I went on my travel and the first three months in India I actually lost quite some weight, I lived in an Ashram and "clean eating" made some sense there. I remember one situation which is actually quite entertaining to me now, but back then I was super sad, because I thought I was not fat, but "normal" weight. A little boy came up to me the day I arrived and instead of saying hello, he said: "Why are you so fat?"
India blew my mind, like I said before I knew that I had to lose some weight to get myself and my life into a better condition, but my travel kept on going and I spend another time in Perú. All the weight I had lost in India I put on and some more there. The food was horrible, just fat. Everything is fried or rolled in sugar, or both.
I came back home at the start of October 2013 and my mum said to me just some weeks ago that she almost started crying at the airport, because I put on so much weight during my travel, but she didn't have the guts to tell me that.
Life was so busy when I got home, because I had to find a job and wanted to earn money and move out. But then health kicked me and brought me to my knees. I had to undergo surgery....I got my gall bladder removed and that is an operation 60-year-olds normally have, not a 20 year old! I was so shocked when I got diagnosed and I was in such a bad state that I had the operation less than a week after the diagnose!! But everything went well and I went home after 3 days in hospital.
And guess what causes gall stones? Yes, bad nutrition! It took me a while to realize that my nutrition was NOT good or healthy AT ALL. And that I was lying to myself all this time. It was like I was running around with a wrong picture of my whole life in mind. I was in a shock and guess what I did?! I ate even more. It was kinda pathetic.
In hospital I got my first job and started working two weeks after the operation. It was actually the most dangerous thing I've ever done in my life. I was officially not fully recovered and there was always the risk that my scars would re-open and I had to get another surgery, but I didn't care, 'cause I wanted to work so bad.
I started working at the start of November and the plan of loosing weight was in my mind by then. I entered a local gym at the end of November, when I knew I was fully recovered.
I worked full-time by then and also volunteered at Warped Tour (which is another story), but I kinda felt that I lacked energy and strength. I always went home after work with back pain and the feeling of being powerless and I fell into bed after every single shift. It was horrible. I knew that my weak body state was the reason of me being like that and I wanted to change it.
It kinda clicked in my mind.
I went to the gym on every single day I had off and sometimes even after a shift. I was happy and the adrenaline after a work-out made me feel relaxed. Also, I started using an app called "MyFitnessPal" and started counting calories. At the start I had NO idea about nutrition, but I spent hours and hours of reading through internet pages and instagram pages about food and nutrition and the effect of nutrition and fitness.
I finally found something that was really interesting to me. It took me until March to be confident the first time to take a bikini photo. When I look at it now I can't believe that I thought back then that I got "skinnier". It just makes me smile.
I lost quite an amount of weight until August and then I again thought I was finally skinny, which I wasn't.
I started using Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide somewhere around that time and it really kicked my butt. I never thought that you could see results in such a short amount of time, but it made me thoughtful. Why should I go to gym, when I could do it at home aswell?
Well, that's kinda when everything went down. At the start it was the best thing ever, I did a quick workout every second day, but then I got lazy again and stopped working out at all.
I am still using "MyFitnessPal" and I still go to the gym or work out at home....but I struggle with finding any motivation to do so.
And I think every weight loss account on instagram or wherever that tells you that they don't struggle are lying. I struggle a lot, I am a lazy person...working out was never a part of my life until last year, so I don't think my mind is fully into it yet. I had a bad nutrition for 20 years, you can't change that within a year and make everything good.
After doing sports and being in the process for so long I kinda forgot what kept me going in the first place. "Make them regret the day they called you fat." was my motto from day one and I just found out that one of my skinny friends from back home put on some weight and I feel like the tables are finally turning. After years of being left behind and being laughed at I am in the position to laugh, but I won't, because that would just make me the same awful person than they are.
To sum up my weight loss story/ success until now....I lost 26kg/ 57lbs, lost 20cm/ 7.8 inches around my hips, 10cm/ 3.9 inches at my waist and around 4cm/ 1.5 inches around my arms. I have more energy now and as soon as I started working out the back pains stopped completely.
At the moment I am having a bit of a down and I am trying to get all my motivation back. So I decided that this is the right moment to write up my weight loss story so far, because when I think through all of it, my whole story, maybe I find the motivation again. The spark of it is definitely still glowing, I just need to ignite the fire again.
Let's head back to my youth or the time from being a baby until I got around 12. I was really overweight, always have been. On my baby photos I look like a monster, like Bib from Michelin.
Well, I never knew what healthy food or anything was, so I ate whatever my mum was making and she made sausages and oily stuff like that a lot and there were sweets and chocolate at home all the time, so that didn't really help. On the other hand I was always really sporty, well I kinda loved being in the nature and taking super long walks (up to 3-4 hours) or went jogging. And my mums boyfriend pressured me into loosing weight as soon as I got 14. I really had an eating disorder back then, I lost a lot of weight in a real short amount of time, but it was never enough for me. I was disgusted by food and skipped too many meals.
I changed schools when I got 15 and then I started eating normal again, like I restored my weight and my hip bones stopped poking out.
The next four years I was in nursing school and it was psychically and physically the hardest thing I have ever done!! It was so much pressure, because I am a perfectionist. I wanted to be perfect and have the best grades, I put so much pressure on myself to get the best grades and be better and more loved than anyone else. And everyone needs some stress relief, mine was food. And it took me too long to see that. I just realized some time ago that I am a nervous eater and I always eat when I feel stressed eventough I am not hungry. Which brought me to the situation that after those 4 years in school I had all together put on exactly 30kg/ 60lbs.
I knew that I was overweight, but I really thought it wasn't that bad. I thought that restricting over the daytime and stuffing my face with food at night was the answer to everything. I had no idea how bad I treated my body. I was kicking my health with my feet. My mind knew that I was wrong and that I was terribly ill, I started hating myself with a passion.
After graduation I went on my travel and the first three months in India I actually lost quite some weight, I lived in an Ashram and "clean eating" made some sense there. I remember one situation which is actually quite entertaining to me now, but back then I was super sad, because I thought I was not fat, but "normal" weight. A little boy came up to me the day I arrived and instead of saying hello, he said: "Why are you so fat?"
India blew my mind, like I said before I knew that I had to lose some weight to get myself and my life into a better condition, but my travel kept on going and I spend another time in Perú. All the weight I had lost in India I put on and some more there. The food was horrible, just fat. Everything is fried or rolled in sugar, or both.
I came back home at the start of October 2013 and my mum said to me just some weeks ago that she almost started crying at the airport, because I put on so much weight during my travel, but she didn't have the guts to tell me that.
Life was so busy when I got home, because I had to find a job and wanted to earn money and move out. But then health kicked me and brought me to my knees. I had to undergo surgery....I got my gall bladder removed and that is an operation 60-year-olds normally have, not a 20 year old! I was so shocked when I got diagnosed and I was in such a bad state that I had the operation less than a week after the diagnose!! But everything went well and I went home after 3 days in hospital.
And guess what causes gall stones? Yes, bad nutrition! It took me a while to realize that my nutrition was NOT good or healthy AT ALL. And that I was lying to myself all this time. It was like I was running around with a wrong picture of my whole life in mind. I was in a shock and guess what I did?! I ate even more. It was kinda pathetic.
In hospital I got my first job and started working two weeks after the operation. It was actually the most dangerous thing I've ever done in my life. I was officially not fully recovered and there was always the risk that my scars would re-open and I had to get another surgery, but I didn't care, 'cause I wanted to work so bad.
I started working at the start of November and the plan of loosing weight was in my mind by then. I entered a local gym at the end of November, when I knew I was fully recovered.
I worked full-time by then and also volunteered at Warped Tour (which is another story), but I kinda felt that I lacked energy and strength. I always went home after work with back pain and the feeling of being powerless and I fell into bed after every single shift. It was horrible. I knew that my weak body state was the reason of me being like that and I wanted to change it.
It kinda clicked in my mind.
I went to the gym on every single day I had off and sometimes even after a shift. I was happy and the adrenaline after a work-out made me feel relaxed. Also, I started using an app called "MyFitnessPal" and started counting calories. At the start I had NO idea about nutrition, but I spent hours and hours of reading through internet pages and instagram pages about food and nutrition and the effect of nutrition and fitness.
I finally found something that was really interesting to me. It took me until March to be confident the first time to take a bikini photo. When I look at it now I can't believe that I thought back then that I got "skinnier". It just makes me smile.
I lost quite an amount of weight until August and then I again thought I was finally skinny, which I wasn't.
I started using Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide somewhere around that time and it really kicked my butt. I never thought that you could see results in such a short amount of time, but it made me thoughtful. Why should I go to gym, when I could do it at home aswell?
Well, that's kinda when everything went down. At the start it was the best thing ever, I did a quick workout every second day, but then I got lazy again and stopped working out at all.
I am still using "MyFitnessPal" and I still go to the gym or work out at home....but I struggle with finding any motivation to do so.
And I think every weight loss account on instagram or wherever that tells you that they don't struggle are lying. I struggle a lot, I am a lazy person...working out was never a part of my life until last year, so I don't think my mind is fully into it yet. I had a bad nutrition for 20 years, you can't change that within a year and make everything good.
After doing sports and being in the process for so long I kinda forgot what kept me going in the first place. "Make them regret the day they called you fat." was my motto from day one and I just found out that one of my skinny friends from back home put on some weight and I feel like the tables are finally turning. After years of being left behind and being laughed at I am in the position to laugh, but I won't, because that would just make me the same awful person than they are.
To sum up my weight loss story/ success until now....I lost 26kg/ 57lbs, lost 20cm/ 7.8 inches around my hips, 10cm/ 3.9 inches at my waist and around 4cm/ 1.5 inches around my arms. I have more energy now and as soon as I started working out the back pains stopped completely.
I think I am writing this post as a motivation for everyone
out there.
If you want anything you can do it, you just need to find one thing that keeps you going.
You have to work incredibly hard for what you want and you might share some tears, but if you keep your great goal in mind you will be blessed with amazing opportunities and happiness.
If you want anything you can do it, you just need to find one thing that keeps you going.
You have to work incredibly hard for what you want and you might share some tears, but if you keep your great goal in mind you will be blessed with amazing opportunities and happiness.
xoxo Eva
